He Made Me Masterbaten Him Over and Over Again

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Anyone finished who wants to discuss the ending? I am still not sure how I feel about it, am ruminating.

Ruth Oliver

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Despite the maddening back&forth, I think it's pretty clear that she chooses Jonas. Here's how I think, in the author's mind at least, she resolved all of Elle's objections leading up to that last paragraph:

1) much of Elle's appreciation for Peter has to do with his ability to rescue. She credits him with bringing her mother back from the brink and marvels at their relationship. That gives her mother's blessing to go to Jonas (paraphrased as "you don't know if you'll regret the swim if you don't take it") enormous persuasive weight. Wallace genuinely likes Peter, probably even better than Jonas, and she's telling Elle to follow her heart.

2) part of Elle's fear of leaving Peter for Jonas revolves around her children and how it would affect them; but, at the end, she realizes that she, ultimately, cannot protect them from hurt. She's done well (already better than her mother) by surrounding them with people who genuinely love them and will be steady presences in their lives, regardless of who ends up with whom.

3) and, most obviously, Elle sees Jonas waiting in the water for her, takes off her wedding ring, and goes to him. Their love scares her ... which is why she continues to try to hide from it (e.g., trying to wake up Peter for a swim instead) ... but, in the end, walking out and facing the very natural gravitational pull towards her soulmate is the necessary and brave thing to do.

STILL, I would very much have liked to read that she finally learns her lesson and tells the entire truth, her life story, to Peter, who deserves it. Because hearing and understanding it would go a long way towards making him realize that this unbreakable bond between E&J had nothing to do with anything he did or didn't do. (hide spoiler)]

Kathryn Drew It's deliberately ambiguous-- there are clues to suggest both choices, though it seemed the removal of the wedding ring was meant to be telling...unless she always did that before swimming? I couldn't remember. Ultimately I didn't care either way. By the end I was completely bored with Elle and her dilemma. "Oh dear, I must choose between two men who love me and find me ravishingly beautiful!" Please.

Beth I hated the ending and don't understand all the buzz for this book. I was so bored at the beginning that I almost didn't continue. I thought the writing was really pretentious and unnecessarily wordy. It was hard to understand Elle's choices throughout the book.

Kimi At first I was a confused by the ending. I read something in this thread that the author says she made the ending very clear. So I went back to read the last two pages to see if I overlooked something. Here is what I found.

If you have the hardcover book on pg. 385, right under the bold text of 6:30am: Elle and Peter wake up. Peter is still very tired. A few sentences down you will see that Elle says "Why don't you come with me? The pond will be warm after the rain" I hold my breath, wait. Come with me. End this."

Peter knew she was going to go for a swim but as usual, he never wanted to go with Elle. I know in many ways he was an amazing husband but the swims... that meant so much to Elle. Meeting her where she really was in her life. It's like her soul was screaming in this moment. "Just say yes to me, just say yes, end this all. Love me." But he would not go with her.

I believe this is what the author is talking about. It is very clear to me that she made her choice right in this moment. She chose Jonas. Jonas knew her soul.

Regan I think it's very likely she committed suicde by drowning. Drowning is a constant theme and she was never able to forgive herself. She pressed the ring into her lifeline thereby ending it.

Kim

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Oh my goodness - I'm glad I'm not the only one. I finished the book last night at 2am and woke up thinking about that ending. I even searched the internet for more information, just looking to find some other interpretations about the ending. I was convinced (in the last few pages of the book) that she chose Peter, especially with the things she told him that last night when he confronted her about the kiss with Jonas. But then she takes her wedding ring off and goes into the pond where Jonas is waiting on the other side!! What are we to think? I did find an article with a quote from the author where she says the ending is clear if you know where to look. To those people wondering who Elle chose, "I would refer you to the penultimate paragraph of the novel." I've read that paragraph ten times today ... "I take off my wedding ring, hold it in the palm of my hand, considering it, feeling the weight of it - its worn, eternal shape, its gold-ness. I squeeze it tight against my life line one final time before leaving it behind me on the top step and heading down the path to take my swim." The only conclusion I can draw is that she chooses Jonas based on "one final time before leaving it behind me..."

What do you think? (hide spoiler)]

Gail Cohen Spoiler Alert -
I just finished and was disappointed in the ending. I thought she'd decided to stay with her husband but then she left her wedding ring. So does that mean she chose Jonas. I would have liked a clearer ending.

Debra Dahlgren Rowand I'm all in for a discussion on this book. I loved it with all of it's ups, downs, ambiguity, pacing, etc. Love that this was a debut title and the writing style was interesting to me. Life is messy and Heller illustrated that perfectly. I have yet to be disappointed by a Reese's Book Club pick. Such an interesting book.

EJ Vaughan I think the ending completely ruined it…and I was so bored at the beginning I almost gave up on it a few times. I persevered, only to regret it! I feel like I want my time back I spent reading it. Honestly, I felt like the author slapped me in the face with that UNending after a boring beginning. I need to time to ruminate…I would never recommend this book to anyone.

Deena I think the author gives us a clue when Elle and Gina rejoin the bbq after being in the bathroom together and Elle says to herself "She will never know how close she came to losing him." (Page 367 of Kindle version) That seems to indicate Elle has decided to stay in her marriage.Then on page 389: I have made my choice: to give up this love that pulses, aches—for a different kind of love. A patient love. A love love."

Deb Baumohl

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[CONTAINS SPOILERS!!

I loved this book. The writing style was unique, and having grown up on a beach in the northeast in the late 1960's, I could relate to the time and place depicted. Frankly I wondered if MCH was someone I knew.

It was a bit hard for me to believe that Jonas and Elle could function after the tragic accident that took place when they were teenagers coming of age. Or that Jonas became a wildly successful artist, while Elle was somehow able to break the cycle of abuse and trauma and find love, motherhood and normalcy with a wonderful man for almost 20 years. But I do strongly believe that 'first loves' leave indelible marks and the longing that Elle and Jonas had for one another was true.

Peter was safe. He was Her stability, and he was a truly loving husband and father to her children. However, she was never completely herself with him. She was waiting and expecting him to find out the truth about her (and be totally repulsed by who she really was).

On the other hand, she and Jonas understood and fully accepted one another for who they really were. Their connection was deeper since they shared secrets and a tragic accident in which they both were involved.

The Memphis trip changed everything because on some level Elle was able to finally forgive herself (and others). And once she came to terms with that she could finally be who she was; a flawed human being who was able to be honest with herself and her feelings and endless love and longing for Jonas.

Who did she choose? Wallace says "Some swims are not worth the risk, But you will never really know that answer unless you try". And oh by the way, She left her wedding band behind and took the swim to Jonas.

I think the choice she made was crystal clear. Despite all the goodness she had in her life with Peter, she could no longer deny her ultimate love, physical attraction and desire, for Jonas, or her need to be 100% herself.

(hide spoiler)]

Moira Webster-Larranaga

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I really hated this ending. (It's obvious to me Elle leaves Peter for Jonas.) Peter and his kids are the only likable characters in this entire book, and to see Elle hurt them, just as she ostracizes her father for "not picking" her, made dislike Elle all the more. She is the epitome of selfish. Jonas is weak (he pined for her for years, but never once picked up the phone or even sent her a letter?), and creepy, and once he has Elle he won't want her any longer. Elle blew up her perfect life, likely damaging her kids in the process, for a few weeks of great sex. Ick. (hide spoiler)]

Sandra Powers

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[How could it have ended any other way..? She could stay in her marriage and wait for Peter to die from all that smoking, or she could go to her soulmate. I think leaving the wedding ring was the clue. Ironically, both the mother in law choices were equally bad, and neither had any love for her.. Kids grow up and move on. I loved this book.. (hide spoiler)]

Yukari Watanabe This is my understanding: Elle flipped the coin (remember what her Mother said about difficult choice?), then the coin told her to stay with her husband. Then she wished it was another choice. So, she removed the wedding ring ("I squeeze it tight against my life line one final time before leaving it behind me on the top step") and swam towards Jonas.

I personally didn't care either way, though.

Lisa Epperly Now after reading the spoilers i am even more confused. My take is that she chose Jonas.

A_mah

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Thanks for this question. All the answers have helped me gather my thoughts about the story and the ending. Spoilers ahead~

I finished this book wondering what next???!!! This story isn't over! I wanted another chapter or epilogue to have a little closure and know how the family ended up, specifically Elle. To me it seemed that Elle couldn't decide. Her heart chose Jonas and her head chose Peter. She lived with the guilt AND shame of Conrad for so long -- the abuse and death. She navigated that, not sure how well, but she did. So she will probably navigate her guilty conscience of an affair and justify it in her head for a while. I think eventually, Peter or Jonas will decide her future. I would have liked to read about it though and hope that she can find happiness in her future. For me, The Paper Palace ended at the rising climax of the story. Maybe MCH couldn't decide and didn't want to hurt her characters anymore than they had already suffered. However, it felt like all the characters were left in Cape Cod limbo. I finished the book feeling sad for all of them.
And to be fair to Elle, I didn't see her as likeable/unlikeable, weak/strong, good/bad... She seemed very human to me. flaws and all. She had a lot thrown at her and she was doing the best she could with the hand she was dealt. (hide spoiler)]

rei I think Elle chose Jonas. Towards the end when she asked Peter to join her for a swim she says "Come with me. End this". It's as if she's wanting Peter to make her choice for her, almost as if she knows if it were up to her her choice would be Jonas, but is afraid to lose Peter and ruin her family. But when he decided not to go she made the decision herself and that's to swim towards Jonas. I thought maybe she committed suicide as well, but I doubt she'd leave her children without their mother.

Another reason why she chose Jonas, I think the whole book what happened with Conrad prevented Elle from ever pursuing Jonas. Almost as if being together, there will always be a constant reminder of what "they did" the day Conrad drowned. I think Elle has been a prisoner in her own feeling of guilt about what she did, and her love for Jonas despite loving and marrying Peter. But in the end she says of the sunrise "it hovers, suspended for a moment, before breaking free of it's tethers- the break of dawn", I think is her way of finally being free of her guilt and feelings and allowing herself to finally choose to love Jonas.

Robert Blumenthal I think the author left it very ambiguous and was expressing the notion that Elle would never be able to feel comfortable choosing either Peter and her children or Jonas. She had her definitely choosing the safe option of Peter and her kids, and then she shows great ambivalence when she went for a swim. I don't think anything was definite and that she could never be completely satisfied with either choice.

Shari I took it as she still chose Peter but after reading some of these comments, it did make me think..
Maybe she just wanted to take that last swim as if she was doing it before she got married & say goodbye to her past?

Amy W.

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[<spoiler>I think she chose Peter because I think Jonas is a creep and that's what I choose to believe. Also, as Sally Albright says, "Women are very practical". Untangling both their lives to go off with Jonas would be a horror show and Elle is smart and practical enough to know this. And, after spending her whole life watching her father choose other women over his daughters ("he never chose us"), I can't believe she would do that to her children. Also, Jonas is a creep. I realize that this may not be what the author would say, but it's my take.</spoiler> (hide spoiler)]

Marilyn Brine This was a story that I realized I'd fallen into at some point without knowing it. I don't think it matters how you interpret the last few pages. That's the mystery of a story so well written. We become Elle. I hope people will be able to see beyond the details that they may consider profane to the whole.

Nina Wright

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[THIS ANSWER CONTAINS SPOILERS..... As much as I enjoyed Heller's sensuous details of place, the narrator's debate about which man she should choose wore me to complete ennui. I want to believe that she chooses to remain with Peter, but the final pages do not support my preference. Witness the phenomenon of backwards-flying birds (recalling "To a Skylark" and other nostalgic references) to the moment when she sheds her wedding ring and swims to Jonas. Since morality seems to have no real weight in her choice, how ridiculously she has over-simplified the ramifications of divorce. It is as if this fifty-year-old woman who witnessed the endless messes of her parents' divorces cannot imagine the painful complications that will surely arise from her own selfishness. (hide spoiler)]

Krista Teare I ADORE this book. But I am shocked but (what I think) Elle chooses. Isn't the glimmer of Jonas romantic but unrealistic? Peter is solid and only held back by her own omissions.

Georgettenecessities Gmailcom I think she chooses Jonas. Regardless of her horrible childhood, I despise her treatment of Jonas in adult life, using him and tossing him aside. I despise Jonas for allowing her to manipulate him and for being readily available for when she wants an affirmation of his unwavering devotion (unlike she recieved from her parents). Peter's ending role is to take loving care of the children while Elle seeks her new future,This, indicated to me, when he choose to sleep in and take Jack on a promised outing, rather than swim with her. I wanted
to throw the book across the room after the last sentence.
I'll not seek out another read by this author, little to much detail (esp. mice activity...ugghhh) and the endless number of characters had me confused. This was not a book to read casually...unless you have a great memory for who was who in each segment of the story.

Lynn

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I'm confused by the ending! I thought she made a decision to stay with her husband the previous night but then she takes off her wedding ring before she goes to the pond where she can see Jonas waiting. What are your thoughts? (hide spoiler)]

Jennifer I didn't find it to be that ambiguous. The author lead us to believe she was going to stay with her husband but then at the end she's walking toward the pond where Jonas is after taking her wedding ring off. She chose Jonas. And I literally yelled, "Nooooooo!"
So mad at her. Peter was so charming and her kids.....damn that woman.

Kathryn There was an ending to this drivel? Where?

Dana Lane I stopped reading in the middle of the book. Glad I did after reading all your comments. I just couldn't get into it.

Robin I'm surprised by how many people think this is a love story. It's more of an anti-love story. It's a story of how divorce, abuse, and selfishness have caused generational unhappiness and people desperate for love without knowing what that really looks like. The question is does Elle finally break the cycle that has plagued her family for generations, or is it so deeply ingrained that the story is already written for her?

Susan By the end of this book, I couldn't care which man she chose. I was so bored. How many ways can you describe a pond? A beach? A night sky? I think I have seen them all now. I found myself skipping lengthy descriptive paragraphs to get to dialogue (but then worried I missed something and went back and read them anyway). There were so many throw away characters (like the Uncle in South America - was I supposed to care about him?). I have read a lot of books this year but this one took forever to finish and I will never get that time back.

Diana Fisher

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I keep looking at the beginning of the book for clues to the ending, based on her grandfather's advice that the start should foreshadow the end. I'm lost. Whom did she choose? This article says 'the penultimate paragraph' of the book gives the hint. Which of the almost 400 pages of paragraphs would that be, Miranda? haha https://www.penguin.co.uk/articles/20.... (hide spoiler)]

Carrie Tyler-Johnson

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[ I wonder if Elle pressing Jonas' ring on her palm's lifeliine is telling. The lifeline on palm indicates vitality/stability/fate.
1) I think Elle had previously mentioned her own & Anna's lifelines.
2) Elle compares Peter & Jonas: Needing to get back to the safety of the shallows vs. pull of exhilaration, freedom & adrenaline rush of nameless panic
I am thinking Elle was saying goodbye to a life with Peter when she pressed her wedding ring into her lifeline prior leaving it on the post and swam away from the sandy water to the far side of the pond. (hide spoiler)]

Afterwards

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Terrible. Yeah ok it was clear what she was gonna do but she robbed the reader of any enjoyment of getting back with Jonas by making it such an obscure & pretentiously written ending. (hide spoiler)]

Rosemarie Elle's entire relationship with Peter is built on lies, and she acts on her decision to "choose" him by telling another lie. Such a marriage is doomed. She doesn't have the strength to come clean and start over with Peter as she should if she were to genuinely choose him. That would have been the adult, healthy choice. I was hoping for her to do this, but she didn't, and ultimately that felt more honest to me. Because really, what do we expect from someone this damaged?

Cassandra

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I think she chose Peter. Its definitely ambiguous and I could see why you might think it was Jonas - The things her mother says, When Peter doesn't go for the swim, Jonas waiting at the lake, her taking her ring off, and her thinking about Jonas and the hummingbird story....
But this is why I think she chooses Peter: Her decision to not choose Jonas has freed her from her promise to never tell anyone what happened that day with Conrad, when she tells her mother she breaks that promise and lets go of their relationship. Peter has saved and helped heal her child self, when he attacks the 2 men who threaten her (when they meet and in their apartment later on), when he tells her to go talk to Rosemary who helps absolve her of her sin, and during several other "small" moments and exchanges throughout the story.
I think the end is about the life you chose because you have a knowing that it was the life that is meant for you, but even that knowing cant keep a small part of you from questioning what could have been, even when your heart is entirely your partner's it's still possible for a tiny part of it to be with someone else or in a different time or a different life.
I've also considered the idea of the multiverse... The idea that every time you make a choice, another version of you makes another possible choice in another, parallel, universe. If you think of it from this angle, from the point at which the author leaves us, both choices and all of the possible resulting events can exist at the same time. (hide spoiler)]

Holly

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I was completely immersed in this book; speedreading towards the conclusion of Elle's story only to find myself so disappointed by the obscure ending. My initial thought was that she chose to stay with Peter; and I felt utterly unsatisfied, but after rereading the last few pages, I think her story ends with Jonas. When she finally tells her mom that it was Conrad, not Leo, who raped her, her mom ends the conversation by telling her how much Jonas loved her, and says, "There are some swims you do regret, Eleanor. The problem is, you never know until you take them." The next morning, she invites Peter to join her for her morning swim, but he turns his back and declines. When she goes outside, she sees Jonas already waiting for her, and THEN she takes her wedding ring off to head down the path towards the pond...towards Jonas. I was much happier with the ending when I felt like the path led her to Jonas, but I would have enjoyed reading about their reunion after the entire book kept them apart. A little gratification for the reader for enduring so much sadness and tragedy through most of the story! I also felt terrible for Peter in this scenario since he was such a lovely guy. But he never truly knew his wife because she never fully let him in. Either way regarding Elle's relationships, the author took us on a journey without giving a satisfying conclusion for Jonas or Peter, or her readers regardless of who Elle ended up with. Also she drank pond water. Ew. (hide spoiler)]

Angela Silvers

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I have to admit that I did not read this book word by word. Too much filler, but I did finish and I am really happy that many are confused by the ending because I was doubting my intelligence . But I think she killed herself. I don't think she chose either man or in the end her children. I found her to be a bit of a coward and unable to take a stand, odd for this character that risked herself over the ring that Jonas gave her but she didn't stand up against Conrad? It made no sense to me that Elle would risk rape etc to keep her mother happy? A mother that basically put her children at risk repeatedly and at best was just neglectful. That kind of loyalty made no sense to me. I found her hard to like. (hide spoiler)]

Kel crap - spoilers! hit send before clicking the button and now i can only edit. spoiler alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i am sick of ambiguous endings but i hope she went to jonas. i found it romantic and yes, heartbreaking. peter and the kids were great. she never should have gotten married. we all make choices and in the end, when u have a chance to maybe start over....well sometimes you should take it. the fact that she took off her ring and he was on the other side of the lake made me think she wasn't going to say i'm breaking up with both of you. i also considered that she might kill herself as it was referenced before. anyway, i feel the way you do denise, not sure!

Mary Starus I want to know what happens, but don't want to read the book...I don't like the writing...

Lucille

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[It took me a while plus a re-read of those final chapters to realise who her choice finally was and it wasn't her hsuband. (hide spoiler)]

Lara Dillon OK - so all you people made me go back and read the ending and the beginning over and over again!! Uggghh. OK so I thought for sure she stayed with Peter. And to be honest - there is no other choice. She has a wonderful loving family, a husband who adores her, still has a great sex life after three kids, a mother that adores her husband and he adores her back. its all just ridiculous really but I think after reading the end and the beginning, that she chose Jonas!!! Two lines at the beginning. She says: I could look at him and listen to him for eternity - it is all i ever want" (that quote is very truncated BTW - wont type it all). Last sentece of opening schene " After describing thier romp outside the house she says " "I love him, I hate myself, I love myself, I hate him. THis is the end of a very long story". She could remove the wedding ring everytime she swims, but she never mintions it. The thing that throws me is "i squeeze it tight against my life line one final time before leaving it behind me on the top step" SHe is heading down to take her sime and Jonas is there as she says, " across the pond a figure stands, waiting, hoping, I can just make out his blue shirt". ANd then all that about the sun breaking free of its tethers. Her breaking free finally and going for what she always wanted, always knew should be - Jonas. I AM DISAPOINTED> BUt seriously i have to laugh - I mean seriously she is just gonna swim off into the sunrise with Jonas. Just announce she is leaving her husband. Its kind of dumb. This isnt so neat and tidy. Maybe she just means shse is staying at the paper palace forever and everyone else can just figure out what they are gonna do around her. Like someone else said, make the men choose for her

Doris Robertson Taking off the wedding ring and using the word 'final' led me to believe that she is picking Jonas. If that is the case, then she has become her father. Her happiness was more important than anyone else's. I also did not like current day Jonas.

Milie2112

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[she chooses Jonas. He is standing and waiting on the other side of the pond. She takes off her wedding ring and rubs it on her lifeline. This is symbolic. She met Peter when he rescued here from a mugging. he saved her and has been her secure life. The only reason she was never with Jonas is because of what they did together and the guilt she felt. but once Rosemary told her that her own brother was raping her, she let go of the guilt. Which is why she could move forward with Jonas. (hide spoiler)]

NAtasha Am i too late? i l loved this book but I have to assume the writer isn't a parent is there was no coverage of the important life event of her having kids (but there was boring bits about random characters) and i also found the character very mean to her father. who really only wanted to find love. It also drove me nuts that she made the decision to cheat on her husband for example when she left him at the gallery and we were somehow meant to think that it was ok due to the back story. She didn't at any moment seem to consider anyone else - i really liked her and she reminded me of a younger me but that person is basically far too selfish and self centred!

Leslie M. Honestly, against most folks here, I think Elle stays in her marriage. The figure across the pond could be her memory of the boy Jonas was. She's just picked up the iridescent feather; he's on her mind. Yes, she takes off her ring—that threw me. But we don't know that she hasn't been doing that all along. I think the key line here is "heading down the path to take my swim." Not "leave my life." Take my swim. After all she and her sister went through in this story, I don't think she'd inflict that on her kids.

James Corwin She stays with her family, there's no other way to see it...except for the wedding ring, made no sense, right? That was a cheap trick Heller threw in at the very last second just to create buzz about the book, get people talking about it. It worked, but shame on her.

Donna

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[What about the drowning of Conrad? Why is no one talking about that? She spent her whole child hood being abused and not saying a damn word. NEVER speaking up. And then she allows Jonas to stop her from throwing a buoy when Conrad is drowning/t take it. Jonas seems to have lived his life pretty well, why was she so plagued with guilt her whole miserable life? I'm annoyed with this book. She never stood up for herself once, which is the same trait she complained about in her mother. Peter might be the only redeemable character in the whole book. Give me back my week. (hide spoiler)]

Kim Leggett My first thought? She commits suicide. Then I read all these comments and I'm not sure. It did make me think but I don't think I can recommend it.

Erin

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[It felt like the decision of whether to upend her family or not hinges on whether her husband decides to keep a promise to their son to drive him somewhere on what for him is a random day. I dislike Elle. (hide spoiler)]

Janet

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I definitely feel like Elle would have made a different decision if Peter had gone with her for a swim that last morning. (hide spoiler)]

Alana Wow, very relieved abandoned it midway. I was bored (and did the author really need to introduce so many characters who were the offspring or related to her mother's boyfriends - they bogged it down - did they count in the end??) ... If I had persisted AND was an ambiguous outcome I would have been cross!!

Patricia Ison

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I definitely agree with Ruth Oliver. Elle should have told Peter the truth about her past. He deserves to know what happened and why she it the way she is with Jonas. She also she have let Jonas go a long time ago. He didn't continue to communicate with her after Conrad died. When she met him in that diner/restaurant years later, if she wanted Jonas then she should have never married Peter. It was like she was stringing Jonas along. (hide spoiler)]

Claudia

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I thought that maybe she didn't decide at all and basically decided to have both men in her life - and let the future decide: "But for which I swim? I climb the steps of our cabin, knowing the answer. For either. For both." (hide spoiler)]

Peter Ro

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[It's written to be ambiguous, but more or less we're left off at a "hasn't really chosen yet" phase. You, as the reader, with your unique version of Elle, Jonas, Peter are supposed to come up with your own ending and opinion. Do you think she'll stay with Peter, and does that make her a coward unable to chase her own love? Or does that make her a faithful and dutiful wife? What about if she went after Jonas?

In any case, I think Elle and the authors are both cowards. Elle has the overly melodramatic lineage of cyclical abuse engineered by the author to make the reader feel sorry for her. It's like the author is apologizing for Elle. Meanwhile, Elle is over here throwing herself a pity party. All the while, she's fucking over two men who love her dearly both literally and figuratively. If she cared for either of these two people, she'd at least try going to a therapist or walk into a confessional.

Now, I would try to give the author some benefit of the doubt. She obviously paid a lot of attention to the pacing and narrative structure of the book. She's writing about cheating in her first book and unsurprisingly riddled herself with laser beams. "laser beams" in the context of this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09e-S... (hide spoiler)]

Donna Knoop

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Hummmmmm I just finished it. I too thought she had picked Peter until she left her wedding ring behind and went to the pond. I am confused now. I would have preferred a clearer indication of her choice but am assuming she ended up going to Jonas because of the ring. (hide spoiler)]

Susan Berg I liked the book, I'm glad I read it, learned a few things about Cape Cod, and found the family dysfunction easy to believe. But, and this is big, it is not fair for a writer to leave her readers unsatisfied with an ambiguous ending unless a sequel is in the making. Would anyone want to read more then 1 book about this family, probably not, hence a sequel is unlikely. In my opinion the only way this story should end is with her picking her kids. And her kids will be miserable if she did not stay with their dad.

Tia

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Her mom gives her the gift of urging her to consider "taking a swim," and she goes swimming after that and it says "I can feel the molecules Jonas has left behind him all around me in the water. I cup my hands in the pond, put them to my mouth and drink him. In the distance lightning fractures the sky." To me this is evident she's thinking of him. She links him w/her swims. Also Jonas is associated with the storm.

I believe she decided on Peter, wanted to pick him, but the storm/nature threw that choice out for her true destiny: Jonas. She spoons her husband but the storm happens. During the storm there's a hummingbird flying backward which is symbolic of her going back to Jonas who she literally had a conversation with about hummingbirds flying backwards. The next morning she's going swimming and urges Peter to come along, saying inside her head "Come with me. End this." (I.e. "Don't let me go meet Jonas)! Peter doesn't. In fact he's a sick about it. He lost at that moment. Just like he doesn't get up with her during the storm. He doesn't truly get her and she deserves someone who does. So in that am, she goes to swim and she's not alone. "Across the pond a figure stands waiting hoping I can just make out his blue shirt". Jonas! Then: "I take off my wedding ring hold it in the palm of my hand considering it, feeling the weight of it it's worn eternal shape it's goldness. I squeeze it tight against my lifeline one final time before leaving it behind me on the top step and heading down the path to take my swim."
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Carla

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I enjoyed reading the book, but I was disappointed with the ending, it seemed a little abrupt.

My opinion was changing throughout the book, but in the end I was rooting for Peter. I think Peter's character is more developed than Jonas's, which creates greater empathy with the reader.

In the book there are some signs that the relationship with Peter is not perfect:

Not diving with Elle.
Didn't read her sister's poem.
The discussion with Elle about her son's behavior.
Programs with Wallace and the kids without Elle in the city
Peter's love for Elle is more focused than from Elle to Peter.

About Jonah's relationship with Him, it doesn't seem to me to be as too canbe the reasons for his absence for so many years or the sudden urgency of being together.

Until the last minute everything seemed to indicate that she would choose her husband, the stability of marriage, the children: she pushed away the idea of divorce from her children, the insistence with which she tries to convince Peter that there is nothing between her and Jonah, the concern of protecting her children from all dangers.

What made Elle change her mind? The conversation with mom and the conversation with her husband? What they said was nothing new!

Peter never dived with her, and her mother always made decisions with her heart. She herself suffered a lot from the separation of her parents.

The storm, the birds, and the conversations with his mother and husband, Jonas's presence do not seem strong enough to ward off his previously definite intention.

When Elle told her she chose her husband, he seemed angry, so you can't tell how, yet he went to wait for her at the lake.

All these clues lead us to think that she matters the decision to keep Peter.

Thus, I think that in the final part should have been more developed the inner psychological conflict of the character to make sense of the end and understand this choice.

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Adrian Sure , whats your take . Mine is she went off to continue the affair.

Kelleyn I feel the same way. I don't know if I should hate the character or have compassion on her! She was raped but did that give her the right to let the boy die. Also, did this give her a pass for cheating on her husband? I don't necessarily agree. Bad things like this happen all the time, but it doesn't give us a pass to then in return have bad behavior.

Sarah Glaister

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I think unfortunately she chose Jonas. Life isn't about how many lives will I destroy if I go with my heart. Having come from a broken home I was praying that el would choose Peter and I think she really intended to but after her conversation with her mother and that Peter showed no interest in doing what she wanted when she woke him twice she changed her mind . If not she would have left Jonas waiting for her at the pond and not swam. She also would never have taken her wedding ring off. Sad. (hide spoiler)]

Susan Smuckler Endings of books can be ambiguous....not a problem for me...makes for a good discussion. I think Elle chooses Jonas but their union won't be happy as Conrad's death wil forever haunt them.

Charlotte I think the sad truth is that Elle will never truly make up her mind. She'll probably stay with Peter without full-heartedly choosing him. A number of factors are at play for this stagnancy, but the main reason being she doesn't want to end up like her mother.

Elle grew up seeing how her grand/mother were unhappy more than anything else after leaving their partner. It didn't do much good for the happiness of the women and it left traumatizing scars on the children.

Elle is paralyzed by the thought of taking a huge leap like leaving Peter and this stability for Jonas.
It's how affairs essentially work: you're under the illusion of an amazing possibility, but you'll never know if it will actually work unless you take the jump. This uncertainty is what keeps Elle from going for it, because she can't be sure about the consequences.

She probably heard this story about old lovers who grew apart, got married with other partners, lived a full life, and then meet again when they're old and widowed - hoping it will be like that for her too (without the guilt of choosing for Jonas now).

Aaron

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Why doesn't Elle ever have internal dialogue about perhaps the rape(s) never happen if she spoke up after catching Conrad masterbating in her room? (hide spoiler)]

Dee I liked the book but the ending was very unsatisfying. Unfortunately, for me this was the part of the book I was looking forward to and then was let down.

Marilou

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I loved the book, the writing, the characters. As I finished it though I too was unsure of who Elle chose. I ended up here to read what others thought. Elle truly loved her family and had first hand experience of her parent's unhealthy divorce and knew the pain it could cause. True, she loved Peter, but Jonas was everything to her. I felt her conflict. Leading up to the end I thought she chose Peter: "she never knew how close to losing him she came" -or something like that talking about Gina. Why would she press her ring to her lifeline "one last time"? Rereading the last chapter and the paragraph in the acknowledgements, and then some of the very beginning, I decided that she chose Jonas, I think she followed her heart. This book was ultimately about love to me, even with all the heartache and flawed characters. It's life- messy, heartbreaking but ultimately beautiful. (hide spoiler)]

Janet

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Although it felt a bit unrealistic, in the end Elle chose Jonas. In those final minutes she felt it was inevitable. Her love for the Paper Palace and Jonas were intertwined…"in her bones". She put her wedding ring on the cabin step and went out for a swim toward Jonas, not knowing how it would turn out but she had to find out….. (hide spoiler)]

Bill Sorensen

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I grew to like like the ambiguity of the ending...when I first finished it, it frustrated me as I believed Elle would be making a huge mistake by leaving Peter and destroying her family....Yet she and Jonas never got a chance for a normal relationship because of their overwhelming guilt over the death they witnessed and did nothing to stop. It was only when they learned the truth about how evil Leo really was and accepted that they probably could not have saved him anyway, that the door opened for a chance at a relationship without this dark overwhelming secret hanging over them. Sadly, it is too late for them and to be together would mean sacrificing their spouses and family. I like to believe she chose to stay with Peter..... (hide spoiler)]

Dianne Vassalotti

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[Ugh the ending! I loved this book until I read the end! I was so absorbed in the book, had a hard time putting it down once I got into it, it was a very slow start and then to get to the end with no clear end?!?! Extremely disappointed! I hate books with no ending!
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Kristen

This answer contains spoilers… (view spoiler)[I think she chose Jonas!! The author said if you know where to look, you will know the answer and in the last few pages, Elle sits on the swing with her mom and her mom tells her, "There are some swims you do regret, Eleanor. The problem is, you never know until you take them." Some people have said they think she could have drowned herself but Jonas was right there so I don't think that would be possible. (hide spoiler)]

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